I'm not a regular on the blog, so not sure if this is an appropriate "post" or not...but here goes.
Thomas and Erin were just telling us that the Chicago area grocery store chain Dominick's is closing. This news, along with thinking about Christmas memories, prompted a recollection of a story from years past.
However, my recollection is incomplete...hence this question. Does anyone remember hearing Uncle Jay, in Grandma's/Uncle Perry's Living Room on Christmas Day following dinner, telling an entertaining and drawn out story? I'm hoping someone remembers, or perhaps heard it in another setting, because it was very funny - though suspenseful along the way, as I didn't see the ending coming. The punch line, as far as I recall, in context of a headline in the paper, was: "Artichokes, two for a dollar at Dominick's"
The way it was said, and as connected to the story, was: "Artie chokes two for a Dollar at Dominick's" - does this ring any bells with anyone?
I have often (well, not that often, but on occasion) thought of Uncle Jay telling this story, with a straight face and a twinkle in his eye, and I was wondering where on earth the story was going with talk about murder and the like. But I have always wished I could remember the whole story. Not sure if Bruce or Linda ever read this blog, but maybe some other cousins will remember this from the "Christmas Living Room circle," listening to the Uncles talk.
Looking forward to any replies. Thanks!
Larry
5 comments:
Hey - that Christmas Living Room Circle was a great place, wasn't it. When everyone was opening presents there was paper flying every which way! Lots of memories there BUT I don't remember anything about artichokes at Dominick's. Perhaps someone else remembers?
This is what came up on Google..my go-to reference source.
Does it sound familiar?
Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, ayoung husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a largeinsurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed.A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworldfigure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husbandthat his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husbandsaid he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have anycash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.Artie insisted on being paid in part up front. The man opened up hiswallet and displayed the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artiesighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar asdown payment for the dirty deed.A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safewaygrocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department andproceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poorunsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, themanager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but tostrangle the produce manager as well.Unknown to Artie, the entire proceeding were captured by hidden camerasand observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called thepolice. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed thesordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the haplesshusband.And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "Artie chokes two for a dollar at Safeway."
Absolutely hilarious. I don't recall Uncle Jay telling it but I thank Larry for bringing up the subject and Nog Blog for her creativity & perseverance to find the source!
I don't remember that particular story, but have smiled at it several times. And it does sound like a story that would have gone flying along with all the Christmas paper at one of those gatherings. :-)
Good job Nog Blog. Very funny.
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